“I thank You God that I’m loved by You even in my imperfections. As I find my way back I ask for Your forgiveness. Teach me to receive Your grace and mercy. Show me how to be gracious and merciful. Today I reclaim my joy peace and Your spirit that I’ve so foolishly gotten away from. I know who/what you’ve called me to be and that’s all I desire to be. I’m a person of character love and truth and to live any other way would be a lie. I ask for restoration where You see fit and to be at peace with what has come to an end. Show me what to do and say. I am obedient to the Holy Spirit. I refuse to live a lie! These things I ask in the name of Jesus, Amen!”
This prayer was written #onthisday 12/20/11. As I read it, I began to remember the exact situation that inspired it. I had allowed myself to get caught up in gossip. Which is very ironic because, at that time, there was a lot of gossip going around about me. It started out as venting but quickly turned into something I hadn’t intended.
After getting over myself, I apologized and took full responsibility for my part in the situation. But that still didn’t ease the heartache from the loss of something so dear to me. Something that I, as do many of us, take for granted, friendship.
Some time has passed and by God’s grace, I’ve grown tremendously. When I wrote that prayer I had no idea how intense my change process would be. All I knew is I wanted to become a better person.
I even wonder if much of it was me trying to get out of trouble with God. Saying what I thought He wanted to hear.
I’ve since learned how this “being changed” thing works. He readily forgives, never to remember again. But we can rest assured that if we’re serious about being Christ-like, there will be some intense situations to get us there. Can’t say I enjoyed them, but I’m grateful.
The things I didn’t have back then~knowing how to receive and extend grace and mercy, keeping my tongue about situations, being more prayerful and actually listening and waiting for answers and direction, and displaying character (fruits of the Spirit) have definitely begun to manifest in my life.
I don’t share this out of pride or arrogance. Only as a testimony as to how true God is to His word. And how serious He is about drawing us unto Him.
If anyone who has the desire to change but doesn’t know how, start be simply having a conversation with the Father. Write it down for future reference. I don’t know how your change will come about but with faith, prayer, and obedience, it will come.